ab imo pectore

THE BITCH

WISHFULTHINKING

| shower me with coach hunny and serenade a love song to me|

EXITS

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

THE DEADLY PAST

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LUSTS

LOVE OF MY LIFE

i miss kc

besties <3

godsisters (:

some kinda magic

my babyy

my laughing gas

sexaye!

BFF <3

it's ladies night

sch's fun with them around

my leading ladies (:

hits since 22nd November 2006

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

3:01 AM

irritated by all the various things around me.pissed off by the people who come up and talk to me.like seriously i just want to be left alone.let me just lock myself up in a room now so i can just abstain from all the noise and crap from the various people who are just so starting to piss me off.little did i know the bad side behind the supposedly lovely price.little did i know that hell befalls me.why couldnt i have been smarter and took a closer in depht look before anything in the world and not think before i jump and accept whatever looks so fabulously good on the outside but it's like fuck on the inside.it seems as though my one mistake made when i was sec 3 caught me so far deep down stuck in this deep dark hole in which now it is just so hard for me to run away and get out of it.this one mistake has just stuck and clung on to me like a bloody parasite an indelible ink.one which i would definitely love to get rid of it but i just dont seem to know why.why do i always get tempted by that bait even though it is not that appetising even though it is totally wrong.i appears such that my lust for various objects of pleasure has taken over my body and soul that i just dont seem to be able to get a grip of things and for once actually make a wise decision with my brain and not with that lust deep down inside of me.why in the world do i just get tempted so freaking easily.now it's just a matter of time before this "disease" just grabs whole and take control of me.i just so want to break free but i do not know how.the first bite is always so sweet but the aftertaste is always ever so bitter yet we always remember the good things and forget or take the bad stuff for granted.that is something which i really should change.will somebody just teach me how.it has just turned into some crazy midsummer's madness and it is going in a crazy vicious cycle.so bad that it seems as though all four walls are just closing in on me and i just cannot get out even though i desperately want to do so.this black pitch is just drawing me deeper like that which quicksand does.i feel totally hopeless with this big problem which i now face.there is just so much more to the world than what i saw at first yet i somehow always just manage to let the various bad stuff happen to me.what blinded me so badly at first?can someone just change me.i now finally have seen those who are true to me and who just does not care.too bad fools you just loss a friend that was not even there.somebody please just save me from this madness before i just collapse from the weight of stress and somebody please prevent me from making the same mistake which i have made times and times again.

Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;